Life can be cruel, no, let me rephrase, people can be cruel, they play on your emotions, take you for a ride, and drop you in the middle of the abyss and expect you to be cool with it...
December 6, was a bad day...it started with waking up late with the aftermath of food poisoning, a busy day at work with no end..and a bloody msg that somehow I was expecting but not so soon...
Why can't I be fake like the rest , why can't I hide my true face behind a mask and just pretend to be helpless...I called my friend asking her what the hell is wrong with me..am i so scary...she calmly replied..you are a deep soul..rare are those who get you and who understand you...so i called another friend and asked him the same question " what the hell is wrong with me" he replied: you are a strong woman, and you intimidated guys..don't you get it..you know exactly what you want and how you want it ..and that scares the shit out of us..." so i asked him should i just pretend to be someone I'm not? and he said..NEVER...cause there's nothing wrong with you.
I drove home exhausted, tired, my ego half bruised and thinking about next day's meetings and work load...as soon as i reached, i picked my black note book and ripped all my letters to the universe, went out to the balcony and watched them burn,,and somehow it felt good...i took a deep breath and smoked my cigarette..it just felt good seeing all that burn and turn into ash.
I was in no mood for anything..i just lay down on my couch gazing at the ceiling, my mind went blank...i'm not thinking...i can't think of anything...phones were ringing... not gonna answer that...
and I just drifted away...
Someone said to me I deserve honesty...I bet you I do..and while I have the guts to be real and raw..others hide behind false masks and pretexts.
Life goes on no matter what...that's what I've learned...
My ego might be bruised...but I'm not making it easy on anyone either...nor i'm planning change for anyone just to please him, this is me...all of me ..bad and good...you don't get to pick and chose parts of me...
Today will be another day...and I will still be me...
December 6, was a bad day...it started with waking up late with the aftermath of food poisoning, a busy day at work with no end..and a bloody msg that somehow I was expecting but not so soon...
Why can't I be fake like the rest , why can't I hide my true face behind a mask and just pretend to be helpless...I called my friend asking her what the hell is wrong with me..am i so scary...she calmly replied..you are a deep soul..rare are those who get you and who understand you...so i called another friend and asked him the same question " what the hell is wrong with me" he replied: you are a strong woman, and you intimidated guys..don't you get it..you know exactly what you want and how you want it ..and that scares the shit out of us..." so i asked him should i just pretend to be someone I'm not? and he said..NEVER...cause there's nothing wrong with you.
I drove home exhausted, tired, my ego half bruised and thinking about next day's meetings and work load...as soon as i reached, i picked my black note book and ripped all my letters to the universe, went out to the balcony and watched them burn,,and somehow it felt good...i took a deep breath and smoked my cigarette..it just felt good seeing all that burn and turn into ash.
I was in no mood for anything..i just lay down on my couch gazing at the ceiling, my mind went blank...i'm not thinking...i can't think of anything...phones were ringing... not gonna answer that...
and I just drifted away...
Someone said to me I deserve honesty...I bet you I do..and while I have the guts to be real and raw..others hide behind false masks and pretexts.
Life goes on no matter what...that's what I've learned...
My ego might be bruised...but I'm not making it easy on anyone either...nor i'm planning change for anyone just to please him, this is me...all of me ..bad and good...you don't get to pick and chose parts of me...
Today will be another day...and I will still be me...
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